When people in movies run directly away from the train / boulder / truck / etc instead of just like, taking two steps to the side of it
OH NO A GIGANTIC TREE FALLING OVER *runs away directly along its length*
Bucky knows what’s up
video game characters arent fuckin attractive
THEN EXPLAIN THIS
if breasts, butts and legs are so distracting to men, to the point they cant function
why aren’t they that distracting to lesbians
and at that point
why isn’t the penis bulge and legs not distracting enough to gay men to warrant men being put under the same dress codes
"i need a movie where there are kickass female characters"
"i need a movie where the main characters aren’t attractive"
"i need a movie with annoying talking animals"
"i need a movie where the main character lives in a swamp"
"i need a movie that has all star by smash mouth on the soundtrack"
a good response to the question “how old are you?” is something along the lines of “dunno i stopped counting after the first few centuries”
and it needs to be said seriously without smiling or humor or as casually as possible and followed by “so anyway” and a subject change as if it’s completely normal
"I stopped counting a few decades ago. no. what’s the one with the zeros? millennia that’s it. human time keeping is so confusing."
laughing cow cheese huh?
I BET THAT COW WASNT LAUGHING WHEN YOU SLAUGHTERED IT HUH
you don’t kill a cow
to make cheese
this is literally my favorite
*gets down on one knee* will you… talk dirty to me
beginning of joke
i honestly dont understand this joke and its frustrating me
Well, I guess you’re missing the
I do have a remarkable tendency to miss the Juicy Juice Hypotenuse.
Can we always call it that oh my god
EYELASHES YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO PREVENT STUFF FROM FALLING IN MY EYE BUT WHEN YOU FALL IN MY EYE THEN WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO YOU WERE MY LAST LINE OF DEFENSE AND YOU BETRAYED ME
get off my post
You don’t have to lash out
these puns are far too cornea